you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
