omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize