She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
