apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
nutella sex= disaster
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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