Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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