Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.

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(574): View more from Indiana

If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.

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(636): View more from Missouri

That dog was the best thing i ever touched

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(760): View more from California

Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.

(818): View more from California

That was one of the best texts I got today

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(630): View more from Illinois

come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.

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(409): View more from Texas

I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!

(931): View more from Tennessee

Wow.

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