Whatcha textin bout Willis?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
