whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
