I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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