She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize