I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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