so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
