You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize