Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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