Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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