and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
