D3 body, D1 cock
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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