You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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