just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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