i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can you repeat that, but with context?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
