Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
