I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
