He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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