if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
