Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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