You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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