She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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