yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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