Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The power of my boobs compel you
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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