She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
