the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my phone needs a breathalizer
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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