Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
