My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The struggles of a small town man whore
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
