I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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