upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
