so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
