He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
