...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
