Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
