So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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