she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
