thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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