sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
