it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
