we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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