Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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