Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
