the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
