if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
