You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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