we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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