You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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