just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
