Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
