we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
