these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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