I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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