there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
