just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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