I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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