There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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