I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
