I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
