so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm both gender and math confused
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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