Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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