I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I lost the right to judge tonight
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
