you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
