Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
